| Thursday, April 13, 2006 |
| No sleep....but not out of His rest and care.... |
Last night I received the worst news I could have ever expected out of this situation with my sister. Yesterday morning she told my mom she was going for a ride, and she went and got married instead. My mom found out last night from my aunt, her sister-in-law. The only person she told was an aunt we don't even talk to all the time. Anyway, it's a very long complicated situation that I have not desired to mention in detail on this site. But in short, this is not a good thing. In other words, plead do not say congratulations. I'm heartbroken. This was my perfect sister who's never done anything wrong (well, we all do but she was as close to perfect as they come). She was the one who raised me. Who instilled all my morals in me. And now I don't even know who she is...
For whatever reason, God did not see it fit to grant me sleep last night. I had talk to two people. Felt better. Was starting to feel some peace. I played soothing music. I prayed. And I genuinely believed I would be able to sleep. I felt sleep near. But it didn't come to me all night. And now I have to go to work. And then a 3 hour class tonight and take a big quiz. I don't know how I'll get through that. I want to do well on my quiz. But by tonight I will be a zombie. Pray that God would grant me alertness and strength today to do well but then give me sleep tonight when I go to bed.
I can't even describe the brokenness I feel at this moment.
The eyes of God are upon me,
He sees everything I do
The arms of God are around me,
He keeps me safe and secure
And He knows where I am every hour of every day
He knows each thought I think,
He knows each word that I might say
And although there’ve been times I’ve been out of His will
I’ve never been out of His care
This changing world alarms me, with war – with strife – with sin,
But our loving Father charms me, with joy – with peace and with life
And He knows where I am every hour of every day
He knows each thought I think,
He knows each word that I might say
And although there’ve been times I’ve been out of His will,
I’ve never been out of His care
And although there’ve been times
I’ve been out of His will,
I’ve never….. been out… of….. His… care
("I've Never Been Out of His Care")
It's only your love that can carry the hurt. Can I ask you to carry me for a few painful miles? |
sent to the stars at 6:26 AM   |
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| 1 Comments: |
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my dear sister in Him, so much has seemed to happen. just pray for your sister and be there for her... she'll need someone to come home to when things get a little rocky. please let me know if there's anything i can do - you've got my number!
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my dear sister in Him, so much has seemed to happen. just pray for your sister and be there for her... she'll need someone to come home to when things get a little rocky. please let me know if there's anything i can do - you've got my number!