Love Up to the Stars!

Monday, January 18, 2010

New Year...New Beginnings

The new year brought us a little snow, although nothing like the Christmas "snownami." I love snow. I know many people do not. I cannot understand how anyone cannot absolutely love snow. I think snow is God's reminder that every day is a new beginning and, no matter what happened yesterday or who you may have been in the past, God offers another chance. Today is a brand new day, and all can be forgiven by the One who can make you white as snow.

I was completely ready for a new year, as 2009 was a difficult one. I'm ready for change. I'm ready for God to do something new in my life. I think I often focus on what I want God to do around me that I sometimes miss what He is waiting to do inside me. This year, I want to always be listening for His voice and ready to act on all He would have me to do. I think of John Waller's song, "While I'm Waiting." What are we doing during the in-between times? What are we doing while we are waiting for God to unfold his hopes, dreams, and purposes for us? What are we doing while we are waiting for God to open doors we never dreamed possible? How we wait makes a difference and truly shows our trust, obedience, and love for our Lord. God will give us the desires of our heart when our heart's desire is Him.

I do not know what 2010 holds for me, but I know the One who holds every day in His hand. Nothing will happen this year that will take Him by surprise. The good and the bad...He already knows all about it. No matter what happens all around me, I know He will always be beside me. There will never be a day that He doesn't desire to use me. On the very worst day of this new year, He will still have a purpose for me. He will still be waiting to shine His light in me and through me.

New Beginnings: Every day, every moment we live on this earth, is a new beginning. Yesterday is gone, and we cannot change a single moment of it. We can however allow God to change us now in this moment. Shattered hopes and dreams are just threads in His tapestry, for the Master Weaver can transform anything into a beautiful masterpiece. Impossible people, situations...nothing is too hard for Him. And what He really desires is to renew and restore each one of His children who will humbly meet Him at the foot of the Cross. Yes, I'm ready to begin anew....

Labels: beginnings

sent to the stars at 11:39 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Difficult Answers to Prayer

Think of something or someone for which you have been praying a long time. Now imagine your prayers are finally starting to get answered. A reason to rejoice, right? Of course, but did you factor in that answers to prayer can be difficult? I didn't I didn't plan for it to be this hard...

I'm finally starting to see the prayers I've been praying for my friend for so long answered. I'm learning that answers to prayer aren't always easy. When you truly pray for someone, trusting God to work in His perfect way according to His perfect plan then you set your agenda and will aside and allow for His. The ways He may choose to work don't always seem to make sense, especially when we can't see the whole picture. Right now I'm seeing answers here and there and trying to make sense of them all. I'm not seeing those answered as I would have expected, but I believe they are being answered...but...they are difficult answers.

The matters you pray for didn't happen overnight, so the answers don't often come overnight. They too are a work in progress. We want happily ever after results to our prayers, and we can't always see what God has in mind by how He works in our lives and the ones we love. Sometimes the answers are difficult...but God is greater than our hurting hearts...if we ever needed you, Lord it's now...

Labels: prayer

sent to the stars at 9:34 PM 0 comments

Sunday, November 15, 2009

What Faith Must Do...

There is a new song on the radio that I am just totally mesmerized by. I can't listen to it enough. I totally absorb myself in the lyrics:

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

I keep getting this feeling, conviction, sweet assurance that GOD IS ON THE MOVE!!! I have been praying so long for something...someone. So many years have past. My prayer hasn't really changed. I long for his salvation, his freedom, and his true joy that will never be found apart from Christ. I find myself crying to almost every song on the Christian radio. I've become totally vulnerable to what I believe God is doing right now. I believe He is working. Can I see it? No, not if I look with my physical vision. No. But I see something through the eyes of faith...something that my grace eyes have been praying for so long. Perhaps it's that speak those things which are not as if they were. I know now more than ever that what I've been praying for, hoping for, trusting God for is totally something faith can and must do. My part in all of this? Pray, pray, pray...be open to how God may choose to yuse me...but...pray, pray, pray...BELIEVE that this is what FAITH MUST DO.

When you see through faith and not through sight you start seeing things past what your earthly vision allows. I totally "get" "walk by faith not by sight." If I walk by sight, simply what I can see apart from faith, then that can be pretty depressing! And guess what? That is exactly where Satan wants me to stay. Because as long as he can move me toward despair because of what I am "seeing" or not seeing, then he can dishearten me to the extent that I may be still praying but my spirit has really given up. Well, I will not give up! God is on the move. I know. If it weren't so Satan wouldn't have to be working so hard! He's on the move and I am totally amazed by the tiny glimpses I can see of His work...and yet I know that there is so much more that is totally out of my sight. I love that line of the song that says "life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing..." "You WILL find your way, if you KEEP BELIEVING!!!" Wow...

I feel God's presence now. He is working. Silence doesn't signal His departure. Every trace of His work is a puzzle piece. Separately those piece don't make much sense. They seem pretty meaningless. They don't appear to serve much purpose. But once each piece starts to come together...wow...you finally can see the picture. We may never see the whole picture. But He does. So why shouldn't we trust Him with each and every piece that doesn't seem to make much sense to us? He knows how it will all turn out, and it will always be for His glory and for our good. God is on the move...the cares of my heart...this is what FAITH must do!

sent to the stars at 1:57 PM 0 comments

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Believing for the Impossible...

The last few days have been so difficult. As I was feeling so upset, discouraged, defeated Friday night I felt an overwhelming contradiction. I felt God whisper the impossible. You see I believe He has a plan that I can't even begin to imagine. If i were to share any of my thoughts with most people, I'm sure they wouldn't see it the way that I do. Gosh, I can't say I always see it the way I do either!

You see I'm believing God for the impossible. Too much in life is routine. We go to work. We go home. We go to church. We come home. We get up. We go to sleep. It's simple, well if you take out all the stuff that happens in between. But where within all of that is our purpose? I am referring to that unique purpose that God only has for you to do. Sometimes we get lost in the routines that we forget about those purposes. But we can't get so lost in our routines that we miss it. That we miss the moments that are clearly distinct from the routine. Sometimes we see His purposes as this achievable end. Yeah, like we can really box up God like that! His purpose is more of a journey. There may be this big thing coming down the road (where my believing God for the impossible comes in). But it doesn't start there and it doesn't end there.

I think it gets discouraging when we think it will start and end there. Look God I'm waiting for this...I'm really waiting for You to open this door. And we become stuck in our current circumstances waiting for that door to open. It all becomes about that door. I'm just getting by until this.... I think I've been guilty of that. I'm waiting on God for the impossible, and totally missing whatever He has for me right now. And honestly, I don't know what that is but...

I once heard Gloria Gaither talk about God's will/purposes for us. And she mentioned how Jesus would teach and this was a great ministry. But His purpose was about all that happened in between. You see we expect that teaching to be the big grand purpose. But it's not. It's the every day.

There may be this big grand thing God is going to do but there's also the preparation for that. And He's got purposes in those times too. I think that's the time period I'm in right now...

Someone told me the other day that I had such a beautiful spirit. I was shocked. I'm thinking, me??? You sure you meant me? She went on to say something about being so patient, etc. And then I was sure she couldn't possibly be talking about me!! But she was. See she saw me with grace eyes. She saw all that God was doing and was going to do in me. I only saw how I felt...my circumstances...my frustrations...my weaknesses. She caught a glimpse of His divine work. Honestly, patient is the very last attribute I would ever use to describe myself. But you know it's in our greatest weakness that God longs to do His work... You see that is also the exact place that Satan will try to strike us and tempt us. How much more do we need God to work in that area?!! If she saw patience in me...a beautiful spirit...then she saw God working. She saw God preparing me....preparing me for the impossible...

I am not saying what the impossible is but He has definitely put something on my heart. Prayer...that is what I'm lost in right now...prayer. This is something only God can do. If I even try to think it through I'll automatically be discouraged. No one can work in this situation other than Him....but wow do I see incredible things unfolding in the realm of this impossibility. I will trust You for what I know I can't do but for what you are more than able and have promised to do. I will trust in your salvation and in your redemption. I will trust your grace to fall like rain and bring forth a rich harvest for Your glory.

sent to the stars at 4:32 PM 0 comments

Sunday, October 25, 2009

It's not too late...you CAN be saved...

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth...

From "More Beautiful You" by Johnny Diaz

I hear this song usually several times a day. I can never hear the bridge without tears. It always makes me think of someone...someone very special...and how much I wish and pray for him. There is something about the line "It's not too late you can be saved" that gets me every time. The words shout to every fear that has ever tried to take away my hope and summarizes every prayer I've ever prayed for him...

The song means to me something different than it probably means to most people, including the singer/songwriter. I know the song is specifically about girls and not feeling good enough or pretty enough, etc. But when that bridge comes around I'm transported to another train of thought...something entirely different. And I think about all that has happened to my friend. I think about his "path." I think about every word I have ever spoken to him. I think about every tear I have ever cried over him. I think of every prayer I have ever prayed for him. Every fear...the hurt, anxiety, hopelessness, etc. Every tear is because I want to shout out "turn around...you're not too far...to back away...BE WHO YOU ARE...this is NOT who you are...BE WHO YOU ARE...who God created you to be...anything less is a life of settling and complete hopelessness. But it's not too late...it's not too late...YOU CAN BE SAVED!!!

So with each tear...I will pray another prayer...I will hope again and again. I will not give up on him or on what I know God can do in and through him.

sent to the stars at 11:46 AM 0 comments

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Turn away from it and pass on!

Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on. - Proverbs 4:15

I read this verse recently, and it made me think about many things in my life. Today as I settled on this verse I thought about a dear friend for whom I have been praying so hard. He's trying to straighten up his life and make better choices. In the process of stepping into a journey of healing, there always seems to be things that try to hold us back. I believe he mentioned one of those things on the phone one night. He was talking about how he was hurt over someone he was interest in. Apparently this person didn't stick around and wait for him as perhaps he expected. Instead that person decided to go back to a past relationship. The news hurt him so much that it almost made him compromise his own healing by taking his own backward steps. I felt disappointed to hear that, even quite upset...like why are you letting this hurt you so much? To compromise your own healing for someone who wasn't worth it from the first place. You know that agonizing feeling when you are talking with someone and you just get the urge to shake them and say "Don't be so stupid!" That night my words were so few, and that was a good thing because I didn't have the measure of grace that he needed from me. Oh, but I am so glad that God does.

I started to think have I ever pursued something or someone that wasn't good for me. Have I ever "known better?" Did I ever need someone to give me a good slap in the face and say, "snap out of it, wake up?" And how did I feel or react if they did? The truth is I have been where my friend is: Hurt over someone who didn't even care about me in the first place. At the crossroads between an unknown freedom and a (comfortable) known bondage.

There are so many times in my own life when God has put signs up that said "Turn away from it, and pass on!" "Keep moving straight ahead, don't look back!" In those times I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, I can speak from personal experience, that it is God and God alone who can wake someone up to the fact. Oh and prayers...prayers... I have seen God answer this very own prayer of someone else for me. It was a terrible experience that I went through last year, but I have learned countless lessons. And, so here I am standing reminded. I have been there. There are so many things/people I'd like for my friend to turn away from, pass on! I can speak til I'm blue in the face, but it's God and God alone who can lift the blinds from our eyes and help us to see the truth of what is standing before us, of where we need to go, of what we need to do (or not do).

God, I move out of the way, so I don't become a big bush that is blocking the view of the sign that you are holding up for my friend. Please give him the extra measure of grace today that I didn't know how to give...that I can't give...that only you can give. Your grace is Your omnipotent help when we need it the very most!

I turn away from my need to control...I pass it on to the only one who holds the future and changes the present.

sent to the stars at 4:28 PM 0 comments

Friday, September 04, 2009

Hold Me...Head and Shoulders

Psalm 27:1-6 (The Message)

Light, space, zest— that's God! So, with him on my side I'm fearless, afraid of no one and nothing. When vandal hordes ride down ready to eat me alive, Those bullies and toughs fall flat on their faces. When besieged, I'm calm as a baby. When all hell breaks loose, I'm collected and cool. I'm asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with him in his house my whole life long. I'll contemplate his beauty; I'll study at his feet. That's the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world, The perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic. God holds me head and shoulders above all who try to pull me down. I'm headed for his place to offer anthems that will raise the roof! Already I'm singing God-songs; I'm making music to God.

The other night I couldn't sleep. I was totally stressed out and there was no rest for my body or spirit. I was flipping the channels and stopped when I heard someone reading Psalm 27 out of The Message. I got hung up on these words: God holds me head and shoulders above all who try to pull me down. Are you get the image I am getting? If God is holding up my head and shoulders who can possibly successfully pull me down? They can try...and that's where I get stuck - overwhelmed with stress and anxiety over others' attempts to pull me down...to crush me...to kill every good thing in me. But if God is holding me head and shoulders then all they can do is try. They can kick me on every side, but I can't fall down...not unless I disconnect from the only one who can uphold me. At 3:00 a.m., this verse gave me much to think about. God is my only refuge...the only place where I can break free from all the noise of my life...all the voices in my head...all those things that I can't seem to "turn off" at night so that I can get a good night's sleep. He is my peace, my serenity, my hiding place from all those things that I really can't run away from - all those things the plague me and keep me up at night.

I'm thinking of Psalm 23 as if I'm "getting it" for the first time. He makes me lie down on green pastures. Think about that. He "makes" me. Why do we have to be made to do this? Think of fresh, tender grass on a spring day. Sky is crystal blue with not a cloud in sight. And we have to be made to stop and lie down and take it all in? Yes because we get swept away by all the busyness and all the stress. So we have to be made to stop. Made to rest. He leads me by the "still" waters. Still, quiet - again, the Lord is trying to get us to rest in Him. To find our calm in Him. He restores my soul. - And that's what I needed at 3:00 a.m. That's what I need right now. God to restore my soul. Because my spirit breaks. my countenance falls. I lose my peace in a world full of turmoil. I need Him to calm me down at night, and hold me head and shoulders through a day filled with things that will try to kick me to the curb. But they cannot. Because He is the one who holds me. His love, His peace, His strength, is what holds me.

sent to the stars at 1:28 PM 0 comments

No Passion

I have found it difficult to write another entry as my last one pretty much sums it up. I am still at that place where I feel like "I'm waiting for my life to begin." I feel like my well has completely run dry. I have nothing more to give within current circumstances. There is no passion. I don't have passion for anything I am doing...but...I desperately want to do something that I am passionate about. So what am I passionate about...many things...many that I won't even write on here. Some of my passions are: fitness (especially indoor walking), singing, writing, song-writing, poetry, counseling (although I'm feeling less of a draw toward professional counseling and feel more drawn to lay-counseling, life coaching, etc.) and really anything that makes a difference. I would love to see my love for fitness and counseling/life-coaching come together - perhaps through the opening of some kind of wellness center that concentrates on the body, soul, and spirit. And yet I have just as much of a passion to write, write, write....and a deep love to sing and to sing what I write...So what's my next move? Right now I feel like I'm still "waiting." And maybe that's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing...

Labels: passion, waiting